Forgive your own

Have you ever paid attention to how other Ethnic backgrounds FORGIVE their own out loud! Let's talk about that and see where it gets us!

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Christmas Social Mixer December 20, 2025

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It is three o'clock on the dot, my people. It is three o'clock on the dot. Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday. Happy fourth Sunday. It's the last Sunday of the month. Uh it's the 29th of March. Uh before I say welcome, I have to give complete thank you and a good memory, a good thought, just a good shout of love and appreciation to my dad. My dad is in the heavens with our God. But today is his heavenly birthday. My daddy would have been 71 years old today. And when I tell you that man was my biggest cheerleader, my greatest piece of support on this earth, you know, I've got I've had some really great support over my life. But, you know, when my dad showed love and support, man, he showered it. And when I say showered it, he showered it. He he not only praised everything I did, and I mean he praised everything I did, but wasn't a thing you could say bad about LaVanne in front of him. I mean, if you even remotely thought to speak negatively about me in front of my dad, that was the wrongest move in the world to make. Because that man was quick to tell you where to go, how to get there, and if you didn't get there quick enough, he was gonna help you get there. So shout out to my father, to the man who gave me life, the man who loves me more than any man on the face of this earth did. Um happy heavenly birthday, Daddy. I truly love you and I truly, truly, truly, truly miss you. Welcome, family. How are you out there in the world? How has things been going? I pray life has not made you feel unwanted, undesired, unwelcomed, and unhappy. I pray that you have had all the things that you have looked for start creeping its way into your atmosphere so that you could feel what what glorious and what what greatness it is to just be alive sometimes. You know, it it is great just to be alive. You know, welcome to the house that Vanderbilt. For all of you that do not know me, my name is Vanderbilt Harris, and uh I am your host. Uh I created this platform to talk about just a bunch of things, but mainly, as I always say, I'm talking to those 89 million people that did not vote in the 2024 election. I'm talking to those that are confused about what's going on in this world, and maybe we need to figure out what we're about to do in the near future because there's been no midterm season is this year. And it's a lot going on out there, and it's a lot that they don't want you to talk about. It's a lot that they don't want you to know, and it's a lot that they don't want you to do. And with that being said, let me go ahead on and give y'all a little bit of an appetizer before we get in the main course. Y'all always know I talk about my sponsor, VVHJ Management and Consultant Agency. If you have a restaurant, if you have a walk-up, if you have a nightclub, if you're in the service industry in any way, shape, form, or fashion, and and your business just isn't doing what you need it to do. It just hasn't grown how you need it to grow. And you're trying to figure out some ways that you can make things happen, and it's just confusing you by all means. Hit me up. Hit me up and let me lead you to the people that can help you get there. They've been helping restaurants right now. I think they got 13 under their belt right now with helping them with their marketing and their online presence, getting their social media built up, you know, getting their Google to the rates to where they're popping up in the top five. You know what I'm saying? These are the things that they're helping on. And then they're also helping you with staffing and stuff like that. So if you need some help in your business and you're an independent restaurant and you just don't know how to get back in the black from out of the red, please, by all means, hit me up so we can hook you up with the right people, all right? That is where we at, man. Uh, also, just a quick note, you know, think of yourself. It's okay to think of yourself. Think of yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself. Tell yourself all the time in your head, I am good. Everything straight. I'm gonna be alright. Things gonna be alright, everything's gonna work out. And if it's not working out right now, it's working out for your good later. Just think like that. Start putting those words in your mind and preaching it to yourself. And trust me, everything will be alright, and everything will gradually grow and go in the direction in which you need it to go to. You know what I'm saying? So, family, here we go. I'm going right into the main course, y'all. We're going right into the main course because uh it was I was I was kind of confused about what I was gonna talk about all week. I had been thinking about it, I had been wondering about it, and I and I was just like, what am I gonna talk about? You know, what what's on your mind? What's going on in this world that needs to be heard? And then it hit me today. It literally hit me today, and it's always like that, you know, stuff comes and and you think that you know what you want to talk about. You you're trying to figure out what the world needs to hear. And then I always have to remember, I'm talking to my black, my brown, and my LGBTQIA plus people. And when I'm talking to y'all, I have to think about the things that we go through, the things that we think about, the things that we're trying to figure out and how to maneuver these things and make it work in our lives so that it betters ourselves and then we can better present ourselves to other issues. And then I said, forgive yourself and forgive us. Now, y'all remember last week I told y'all, well, no, not last week, the week before I told y'all, we're gonna forgive, but we're not gonna forget. And and I'm I'm still there. We're going to forgive, but we're not going to forget. But then I started noticing something that's been going on in our world, and I was like, wow. Never looked at it in that sense, but now I'm looking at it in that sense now. And I posed the question to you all. And today is one of those days I want you to jump in the comments, talk, throw it back at me, you know, and and and maybe we could even join somebody in on this one here. But here's that question. Have you ever noticed how other ethnic groups are able to forgive their own out loud? Now, whether they forgive them in secret or in their in their private lives or anything like that is one thing. But when it comes to forgiving them so that you know that they've been forgiven, they don't have a problem with that. And then when it comes to us, and I'm talking to black people right now, I'm talking to my black people, to my African Americans, to my African people too. I'm talking to y'all, and I'm talking to the LGBTQIA plus community too. And some of you brown folks as well, you know, y'all got this bad too, just as bad as us. But we tend to not forgive our own for their mishaps. Now, what brought this thing to my head was the other day there was this huge, I mean, it was a huge, rampant, immediate post after post after post, click after click after click. All you seen was Shilly of TLC has all has donated to the MAGA coalition and she is a GOP advocate. So Shilly of TLC has donated to the MAGA coalition and she's a GOP advocate. And I started asking myself, I say, wait a minute now, you know, and I immediately threw up a post about it because the first it just started going rampant. It was everywhere. Everybody was talking about, oh my God, chili, chili, chili, chili, not of TLC. Chili of TLC is giving to Maven. Oh my God, what's really going on? Then, you know, I threw up a post and I said, you know, Mav is trying to separate us, yet again, by choosing one of ours, throwing their face out there, and then saying that she backs the red and and not anything else. You know, and and I and I and before I knew it, one of my good people, and and I love my tie, Tyrone hit me up and he said, Van, you gotta pay attention. He said, she not only, you know, talked about everything else, but she didn't really deny it. And so I had to go back and I had to do my own research. And when I did my own research, I found out that Shirley did donate $200 here, $100 here, $200 there. It was a total sum of $1,000 that she had donated to the Republican Party some years ago. And I think it was during the very first term of Agent Orange. She had donated roughly about $1,000 to the GOP Party. So I had to first check myself because I'm gonna be honest with y'all. That first term of Agent Orange, I too also made the mistake of voting for him. I too also wanted to see how he was gonna shake up the world. I wanted to see exactly what he was gonna bring to the space. I wanted to see, like my friend Mario had told me, is whether he was going to bring out all the darkness of these United States of America to the light so that we could deal with it and then move on from it.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

I wanted to see that. And here we are, the darkness is still here, so we know it did not work.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

And I'll be damned if I tried it again. Y'all know better. I did not try it again. It was a it was just a quick judgment. I did it, and uh I did it not because I was a strong believer in anything that he said. I just did it because I felt like the world needed a shake. And what better way to shake it up than a a man who's never been in politics, who's never had his foot in the door on that side of the playing field, but he was a billionaire who inherited most of his money, but still he could probably shake up the system. So I was one of those ones as well. So, are you gonna condemn me for it? Are you gonna now throw me under the bus and say that I'm not worthy to be talking about anything that doesn't remotely reflect them? Are you gonna call me MAGA? Are you gonna say I'm a black MAGA now? Nah, in the way hell, you can say that about me. And we all know that. So then when I look at Chili's situation, I think to myself, I say, Self, how many times have you had to forgive somebody that probably didn't deserve forgiveness from you? I say, Self, what do we have to do to understand that we need to try to work something out with our people so that we can at least continue to move forward together and then maybe in private we can deal with the issues that we have to deal with in order for us to get over the hump. You see, uh you know, it it took up till today for me to really get a true, true, true understanding of the word forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean I forget anything that you ever did to me so that I can keep on repeating these things. It doesn't mean that. Forgiveness is simply that I grant you the opportunity to make up your mishaps and allow my heart to mend while my mind still rests on the fact that I know what you did, but I'm gonna let you continue to move on and move forward. And hopefully, in your movement and in your emotions as you walk through your life, you'll start doing things different that you did in the past that hurt folks. See, I'm gonna use MAGA as an example of forgiving. Because MAGA knows how to forgive out loud and they may stand each other in private, but they know how to forgive out loud because they know we all watch. So they don't want us to think that they're ever separated. They always want us to think that they are a perfect union, that they walk together, they stand side by side, and they got each other in any scenario and situation. They want us to think that nothing can ever break them apart. That's what Maggie wants us to think. Nothing, nothing in the world could ever break them apart. And they doing a damn good job at it, y'all. They're doing a damn good job at it. So here I ask the question why is it so hard for us to do the same damn thing? Why we so quick to one of ours makes a mistake or does something that we don't particularly care for, and we gotta go to social media, we gotta tell all our people, oh, we ain't fucking with them. Excuse my French. No, we ain't messing with them. No, no, that they can't hang with us. No, we we not in the same circle. No, no, let them stay over there and we're gonna stay over here on our side. Why we always like that and LGBTQIA plus people, y'all got it work, y'all got it the worst. Because y'all do it the worst, because y'all call it shade and all these other, you know, acronyms and not acronyms, but words that y'all got made up for it. You know what I'm saying? But we got it so bad that we would rather somebody feel less than dirt before they feel anything else from us so that it makes us feel better. And see, that's the sad part about us, y'all. That's the sad part. See, we're never gonna get far in this thing we try to do to move forward and to get some gain so we all come out on the winning team. We ain't gonna never get there. And the reason we'll never get there is because we have so much pent-up animosity towards one another. And I'll be honest with you, most of the time it's over bullshit. Let's just call it as it is. Most of the time it is completely over some BS. We don't, we don't, we don't take the time to try to analyze situations. We don't take the time to try to meet up with each other, talk it out, have grown folk conversation. No, we don't take the time to do any of that. Because guess what? It don't make none. No, you part of the ops. Now I ain't I ain't messing with you. That's that's all we get in our head, and that's all we do all the time. We're so quick to put somebody as part of the ups. And I that's that word. I learned that word, I love that word too. Part of the opps. We're so quick to tell folks that no, I ain't I ain't fucking with them. And then you go, why? Well, because such and such said, and such and such said, and they told such and such, and then such and such can't tell me. And then when you ask that question, well, did you go back to such and such and try to figure out whether such and such and such and such told you the right thing? I ain't got nothing to say to them, and no reason for me to have nothing to say to them because they already told me. I remember as a kid, uh, when I was in high school, my dance teacher, Cheryl McWater, shout out Mrs. Matt. Cheryl McWater, she used to do this thing every now and then, you know. And I remember one time in dance class, she was like, I'm gonna tell one person something. And by the time it makes it back to me, it's gonna be completely different. And she'll be the light she was telling the truth, and here's my right hand of God. They want to show them. She told one person something, and by the time it made it back to her, so much had been added on to what she had done said, baby, it was a whole new scenario. You know what I'm saying? And that's the same thing that applies to us. We tell one person something, they add, they look t bit on, then they add, they look t bit on, then they add, they look told. And by the time it makes itself around back to you, you done did A, D, C, D, and G. And all you had done was that. And we can't forgive them. Oh no, I ain't messing with them, I ain't messing with them. No, no, no. They did this, they did that. Y'all, we better grow the hell up. It is time we did some growing and we start shanking ourselves. It is time we did some growing and start realizing and analyzing the situations and the things that we have going on in and around us and the things that we allow to go on in and around us that eventually affect us all. It is time that we wake up and look into that long book of folk that you just don't deal with, and they ain't got nothing to do with you, and you ain't got nothing to do with them. It is time that you look at that long list of people and start saying, What did they really do? And why am I holding this grudge so long? Because see, let me let you know something, baby. Holding a grudge ain't doing nobody no good, and it damn sure ain't doing you no good. It damn sure ain't doing you no good. Cause see, holding a grudge takes energy. It takes energy. And and dispersing that energy to make sure that you can continue to have this animosity and these negative feelings in your mind. Doesn't do anything but trample down throughout yourself. So as it continues to capture, capture you and keep you in this complacent place that doesn't allow you to grow, the person that you got all this animosity for and this hatred for, baby, they seem to be doing just fine. Just fine. So while you harboring all this hate and trying to figure out how you finna get over and how you finna get even, ain't nobody worried about you. So why can't we practice what matters practicing right now? And I'm sure I've got to use them as an example because maybe they are the best example there is out there. Because I'm here to tell you, that man got us all in a war. Not just you and me, all of us. These whole United States is being condemned because of this BS, this man and got us involved in. We all paying higher gas prices because of what this man has got us involved in. We all paying more for steaks because of what this man got us involved in. And guess what? We're about to start paying more for vegetables because of what this man got us involved in, because the fertilizer comes from over there and it's gotta go through the straight. And if it can't get through the straight, it ain't coming to America. And if it ain't coming to America, the farmers gonna make a decision. See what I'm saying? And when the farmers make a decision, that means the groceries still gotta make a decision. And when the grocery store make a decision, guess what? You are not gonna be paying more. So we all in this, all of us. We all in this, but let's let's let's put it online what I'm talking about. You can't tell MAGA that that man ain't doing them no harm. You can't tell MAGA that he's harming them. No matter how many videos I put out here, and I promise you, I thank you, MAGA. I thank y'all. 25,000, 47,000, 52,000. I thank y'all. All those views you guys are ramping me up to getting and on that. I appreciate each and every one of y'all. I appreciate each and every one of y'all. As my pastor said, my haters are helping me grow. I appreciate all y'all because uh you are the ones who are actually coming on here, commenting on my on my on my post and and and ran and I mean, literally racking me up, racking me up to tell me how much you hate me. But see, baby, I'm smart. I stay out of the comments. I don't I don't go in the comments. I really don't. I may read every now and then. I I do see one where one will come up and tell me I'm gonna die or I'm gonna get shot and stuff like that. I see. But it doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me. Not one thing. Because if I'm gonna get killed for spreading these messages, well then, baby, guess what? Call me a martyr. Just make sure when you kill me, everybody knows you kill me because I was doing this. Just make sure that's the case. Just just make sure that you put a note on my body after you shoot it down and you say this this, you know what I'm the N-word. This nigga was one of them, and we wanted him gone because he was doing too much. Just make sure they know. Make sure they know. But see, hey, my people, there's our issue. There goes our issue. See, we can't look past what somebody then did to us so that we can help out the majority of us. We can't say, hey, you know what? I ain't fucking with you in private. But if I see you outside and we amongst the popularity, I mean the you know, the the the the the the population, we are amongst all the people outside. I can't say, hey, how you doing? What's up, man? Yeah, you good, all right, and keep it going. See, we gotta learn that it's not about all the time what somebody's done and how it's made you feel and what you want to, you know, how how you're doing things. Sometimes it's about the optics. Sometimes it's about what folks see. How they how how do they conceive what it is that's going on in your community? What's going on in and around you? How about we sell the story that we all are together, even when we apart? Why not sell that story? Why not why not sell the story that I got your back? I am my brother's keeper. Whether or not my brother, my keeper or not, but I am my brother's keeper. Why not sell that story? See, because MAGA got it real good. No matter what Agent Orange does, no matter what he does, they completely roll and rock with that dude. No matter what he does. And quite frankly, he's not just hurting us, y'all, he's hurting quite a few of them as well. But no matter whether he's hurting them or not, they still rock with this punk. And I and it didn't dawn on me why they rock with him. And then I figured it out. They're forgiving him out loud in front of us so that they never look like they're separated. But when it comes to closed doors, baby, yesterday at the No Kings rally, there were more Republicans out there than I ever seen in any other rally before. There were so many Republicans out there, I had to start going down, what's really going on? What's really going on? Because, baby, the way they attack online and the way they they act and the way they do these things and say these things and move and how they move, you can never believe it. But the No Kings Rally got them out there marching against Agent Orange. So that's just weird to me. Because uh, if you look online, MAG is as strong as it's ever been. But then you go to these rallies and you see all these different people and start noticing, wait a minute, they're Republican and they're Republican and they're Republican. Oh my god, what's really going on? And then I thought about it. They're gonna forgive out loud, but what they do on their own time is a whole nother story. It's a whole nother story, y'all. So I say, let's take a page out of their own book, y'all. Let's take a page from them. Let's take a lesson, let's think a little bit different, let's forget out loud. Let's walk in unity, let's fight the same fight together. Let's work to win. Let's work to win. Let's work to win. Doesn't mean you gotta like me and I gotta like you. It doesn't mean you gotta care about what's going on in my life on a daily basis, and I gotta care about what's going on in your life on a daily basis, doesn't mean any of that. But what it does mean is that I care whether or not you can afford your next meal, I care whether or not you can put gas in your car, I care whether or not your taxes go up for some unbeknownst reason. I care about those things because guess what? If they're happening to you, it's happening to me. So it's time that we start kind of moving a little bit different, y'all. It's time that we start acknowledging the fact that if we don't work to hurt each other and work to help each other, it's more likely that what we end up working in will benefit each other. Is that is that too much? Is that too much? It it it it's just a simple ask. It's just a simple ask today, y'all. I just gotta I got a simple, simple ask.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Can we forgive each other out loud and deal with our issues in private?

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Can we understand that we are all human and we all fall short? And work at bettering all of our situations out loud and deal with our private situations in private. I am so tired of seeing all of my people in these fights on social media. People have literally made a name for themselves because all they do is post fights on social media.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

And most of the fights are between us. My black, my brown, and my LGBTQIA plus community.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Most of the flights just they just parade us around and make us look like asses.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

I just truly wish that, A, we stopped carrying on like that.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

There's no reason to fight like that all the time. There's no reason to, you know, this this thing that uh everybody got now uh on site, uh, I'm gonna, it's gonna be on site, you know. That that those two words put together just just just worry me. They just worry me. Because now we're just turning to such a vulgar world that all we think about doing is fighting and parading negativity, and and we look a damn fool, y'all. They call us animals again. You know that they literally are calling us animals. I I overheard some folks in a restaurant sitting about maybe two seats behind us, and the and the uh the uh woman evidently had seen a fight that had happened in Atlanta at one of the prominent gay clubs, and she said they're nothing but a bunch of fucking animals anyway. And I promise you, I had to turn around and look. And then I turned back around because when I turned around and looked at her, she kind of got red. And she says, I guess she thought that I was one of them. No, I'm not sister. I just didn't like the fact that you called them that.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

But we're not animals.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Is there a fight needed sometimes? Hell, everybody got to put them through something now and then it it's it's the world, it's the world we live in. You know, uh folks do fight. Now, for what reason are they fighting? Sometimes that's here nor there. But y'all, let us take a book, a page out of Maca's book. Let us look a little bit more unified to the outside eye. And let us handle our business in pride. If it's gonna be on site, let it be on site. But go around the back. And let's not video it. Why we gotta video it? Let's not video it. Just go around the back, take the crew around the back, make a circle, get something out. Lose or losers, win or win. But when it's over, let it be over. And then let everybody walk away and be done with it. Let's not make posts and put it all out there and talk about, you know, the violence and everything because they're calling us animals again. And we're not animals. We're far from it. Far from it. The world has grown so much in education, it's it's beautiful. Though our education system is still lacking greatly, but we still have grown a lot. In the age of technology, things have grown a tremendous amount. And with that, we've grown a tremendous amount. Folks just can't walk up on another black, brown, or gay person and call them anything they want or say anything they want to them. That don't happen no more. It does happen, but it happens on a very, very, very small scale. But that's not what we are anymore. We're in a whole new world. We're living new lives, y'all. We're trying to get to new plateaus. And in search for that and and wanting that growth and trying to get there, hey y'all, you're not gonna get there by ourselves. It's gonna take a little help sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

So help me help you, help me help you. So we can help us. So we can help us.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Forgive out loud and deal with your issues in pride. But forgive out loud. Take a page out their book, y'all. They look like one unified, man. They look like one unified group. Man, they they they always look like they're together. But I know for a fact from speaking to some of those people at the No Kings rally that they are not together.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

They are not together. But to us, it looks like they are together. So I say, let's take a page out of their book and let's look, start looking. At least let's start looking like we are more together than we are apart. So that we can break these chains that they're trying to put on us. Hey y'all, listen. Y'all have a blessed Sunday. Y'all have a wonderful week. May anything that you pray for come to fruition.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

May anything that you desire start making its way to you.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

May anything that you're working on and you're manifesting come quicker to you. Man, I've been doing this now. This is the 11th. This is the 11th show. My God.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

And though I don't get a lot of folks to actually watch the live, what I do get is I get 45,000 of y'all to watch these clips. I get 50,000 of y'all to watch these clips. So I know for a fact eventually I'll have a hundred thousand. I'll have more than that. That's gonna really be kind of pushing me out there. And I appreciate it all. I am so grateful. I cannot tell y'all how grateful I am.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

But again, it's not always about the numbers, it's about the message. And the message today, forgive our lives and deal with the issues in Prague. Let them think whatever they want, but show them that we're rocking together, and trust me, it's gonna put their ass in total fear, it's gonna put them in total fear because the minute they think we're rocking together is the minute that they're gonna totally get discombobulated and don't understand, because the plan has always been keep them separate and they'll never make it. Keep them separate and they'll never make it. But the minute we start looking like we're working together, baby, I'm here to tell you it's gonna scare the masses. Y'all go ahead, y'all have a great week. Love on yourself, love on somebody else. And don't forget I love you. Have a blessed week. Peace, y'all.